Listening

to... The Heartache Can Wait by Brandi Carlisle. Whenever Brandi sings, she sings with such intensity and belief behind the words she's singing. She's an amazing artist who I absolutely love, and this Christmas song of hers makes me love her even more (the harmony... makes me melt); So listen to it with a warm cup of hot chocolate and enjoy.

Now to the point of this blog:

Everybody goes through shit. It could be a bad break up, a divorce, a family member dying, anything. Everybody goes through shit. However, there is a difference in how people respond to this. They can either take it as it is and be emotional when they need to, but still have fun with friends and family. 

Then there's the people who take it out on their friends. Say things to their friends no person should ever say to another. Rather then talking to their friends and asking for their support, you try to relieve your pain by making them feel some of it. Friends can't be happy when you're feeling down. 

Friends are supporters, not punch bags. When you go through shit, friends are there to listen and support you. Not to listen to you call them annoying or immature. 

We all go through tough stuff. You may only think of your current situation, but always remember that your friends go through a lot too. Remember how they treat you when they go through it also because I doubt it's as harsh as how you treat them. 

You said some things last night that hurt me. And the fact that you weren't joking when you said them hurt me even more. Even if you were joking, they crossed the line. It really sucks to have you as a friend. You who I have offered endless support for and talked to you through the tough times. It really sucks that you saying those things to me is how you repay me. 

Listening

to... My Beloved Monster by Eels. 

I love this song. Of all the songs of the world, this song is by far my favorite. There's nothing about this song I don't like. The lyrics, the voice, the music. Everything. The Eels are an amazing, talented band.

Today was a great day. I went to church, heard my Uncle speak on the right way to be thankful during this Thanksgiving (and in general I guess). Humbly. I really felt that one tug because I feel like I haven't been as thankful as I should be. I shouldn't thank God for the things I have. For the stuff that I have such as my car, my bed, or my house. I should thank Him for loving me the way he does. For having such mercy and love for me, despite the fact I sin. God is so amazing. God is good. I would truly be lost and empty without Him. He keeps me strong through these struggling times, and optimistic when I'm feeling down. His forgiveness and love... It's indescribable. It's amazing. 

I really feel like through everything, I just need to go with the flow. Life may have a tendency to suck, but I feel like I just need to remain optimistic. If things don't happen, things don't happen. If things happen, things happen. Just deal with it the day it happens, then let the next day be a new day. Never let something hold you back from who you really are. Not a divorce, not a boy/girl, not a bad friend, not anything. Be yourself, and be happy. I believe the happiest moments in life are those when you truly find yourself. 

My friends have been amazing. I love my friends so much with all the support they have offered me. The times I find myself truly laughing are the times I spend with them. 

I'm ready to be happy, and live in the moment. Not regret the past or be overly optimistic about the future. Carpe diem.

Listening

to... Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne. Pay no attention to the artist, but the lyrics. There's so many things I want to say to this one person, but I can't.

He's this awesome guy who I feel I can really joke around with. Whenever I do talk to him, I feel like we always end up laughing. He makes me smile.

But I'm such an idiot that I can't go up and talk to him when I should. I talk to him when we bump into each other in the halls or when we're in the same table group in class. But other than that I'm a complete idiot and he probably thinks so too. 

I wonder if he knows. I wonder if he's interested. 

I wonder if I'll ever get the guts to walk up to him and say, "Want to go out to coffee sometime?". 

Listening

to Don't by Rachael Yamagata. Good song. Warning- contains the f-bomb. Not recommended for the youngest of audiences, but a good song for when your pissed off at someone.

For example, your dad. 

Yesterday was an amazing day. Friday. Got home, all excited, yeah it's the weekend, then my dad tells me we need to talk.

Crap.

We sit down and he tells me he plans on getting remarried. Two years after a divorce, and a couple of months after dating someone who doesn't even live on this coast.... 

Are you freaking kidding me?

I just told him like a month ago that I wouldn't mind meeting his girlfriend in person. Then he pulls this shit on me. Really Dad?

Honestly, I feel betrayed. My words no longer have any impact on him. I find myself hating him whenever he cries because I honestly feel he's not crying because he feels bad for me, he's crying because I don't approve. And he really wants to.

But I know he doesn't give a crap about how I feel. I told him not to date. He didn't listen. I told him I didn't want to meet her. He pressured me into doing it, telling me his relationship with her was going a lot faster and he didn't want me to be surprised after I just met her.

I don't give a crap anymore. Do what you like. Just know that I'm not supporting it anymore. I did what you liked the past few times, despite the fact it killed me inside. Now it's time for you to feel my pain. 

Screw you. 

Campaign.

Listening to nothing but the news today. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a president. 

You know what bothers me though? The hate. Honestly, both candidates would be good presidents. Just because you support Obama doesn't mean McCain would suck and destroy the country. And ditto for all those McCain supporters.

Be proud of our country! Be proud of our new president! Get over yourselves because Obama is our president (whether you like it or not), and he's not going to end the world, much less the country. 

Listening

to.. Can't Complain by Nickel Creek. Another great one. Seriously, the harmony + the words + the voices = perfection. Listen to it!

Life is good today. Fitting with the song, I can't complain. I actually smiled when I got home from school today. Oh my gosh, hell must be freezing over.

No, but seriously. I've decided a few things today that I'm ready to set in stone, and it feels good. It feels really good. Like after years of never making anything for sure, I'm finally making a decision that I know will be the best for me. 

Hallelujah! Can I get an amen?

Listening

to.. You Got Growing Up to Do by Joshua Radin. Listen to it. It's amazing. 

Life is good. Currently, today, I am:

-stressed

-confused

-frustrated

-sick

-excited

-hopeful

Odd combination, ay? Just how I feel. 

There's this person. A friend. One minute their super fun, the next they suck the fun out of everything. It's amazing. That's why I love this song. These words right here:

But the best thing I can give to you is for me to go, leave you alone, you got growing up to do. 

Truer words were never sung.