Listening

to... Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne. Pay no attention to the artist, but the lyrics. There's so many things I want to say to this one person, but I can't.

He's this awesome guy who I feel I can really joke around with. Whenever I do talk to him, I feel like we always end up laughing. He makes me smile.

But I'm such an idiot that I can't go up and talk to him when I should. I talk to him when we bump into each other in the halls or when we're in the same table group in class. But other than that I'm a complete idiot and he probably thinks so too. 

I wonder if he knows. I wonder if he's interested. 

I wonder if I'll ever get the guts to walk up to him and say, "Want to go out to coffee sometime?". 

Listening

to Don't by Rachael Yamagata. Good song. Warning- contains the f-bomb. Not recommended for the youngest of audiences, but a good song for when your pissed off at someone.

For example, your dad. 

Yesterday was an amazing day. Friday. Got home, all excited, yeah it's the weekend, then my dad tells me we need to talk.

Crap.

We sit down and he tells me he plans on getting remarried. Two years after a divorce, and a couple of months after dating someone who doesn't even live on this coast.... 

Are you freaking kidding me?

I just told him like a month ago that I wouldn't mind meeting his girlfriend in person. Then he pulls this shit on me. Really Dad?

Honestly, I feel betrayed. My words no longer have any impact on him. I find myself hating him whenever he cries because I honestly feel he's not crying because he feels bad for me, he's crying because I don't approve. And he really wants to.

But I know he doesn't give a crap about how I feel. I told him not to date. He didn't listen. I told him I didn't want to meet her. He pressured me into doing it, telling me his relationship with her was going a lot faster and he didn't want me to be surprised after I just met her.

I don't give a crap anymore. Do what you like. Just know that I'm not supporting it anymore. I did what you liked the past few times, despite the fact it killed me inside. Now it's time for you to feel my pain. 

Screw you. 

Campaign.

Listening to nothing but the news today. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a president. 

You know what bothers me though? The hate. Honestly, both candidates would be good presidents. Just because you support Obama doesn't mean McCain would suck and destroy the country. And ditto for all those McCain supporters.

Be proud of our country! Be proud of our new president! Get over yourselves because Obama is our president (whether you like it or not), and he's not going to end the world, much less the country. 

Listening

to.. Can't Complain by Nickel Creek. Another great one. Seriously, the harmony + the words + the voices = perfection. Listen to it!

Life is good today. Fitting with the song, I can't complain. I actually smiled when I got home from school today. Oh my gosh, hell must be freezing over.

No, but seriously. I've decided a few things today that I'm ready to set in stone, and it feels good. It feels really good. Like after years of never making anything for sure, I'm finally making a decision that I know will be the best for me. 

Hallelujah! Can I get an amen?

Listening

to.. You Got Growing Up to Do by Joshua Radin. Listen to it. It's amazing. 

Life is good. Currently, today, I am:

-stressed

-confused

-frustrated

-sick

-excited

-hopeful

Odd combination, ay? Just how I feel. 

There's this person. A friend. One minute their super fun, the next they suck the fun out of everything. It's amazing. That's why I love this song. These words right here:

But the best thing I can give to you is for me to go, leave you alone, you got growing up to do. 

Truer words were never sung.